The King and I

So I just finished watching this old black and white sci-fi movie, King Dinosaur, and it was pretty spectacular. Another planet appears orbiting around the Sun, and the U.S. decides to send a rocket to it with three scientists, whose jobs are to collect data on the habitability of the planet, and also a doctor, who is along for treating diseases and for "treating a fatality." At this point, the movie is already fantastic, and they haven't even blasted off into space yet. How a planet just "appears" is beyond me, as the movie makes clear that it was not always there but had somehow escaped discovery. Also, how do you treat a fatality? I briefly thought the movie was rather progressive for the 1950s, in that two of the scientists are women. Any steps forward for women's lib however, are soon reversed once things begin to go amok on the new planet, dubbed "Nova."

Upon landing, two of the people emerge in plastic fish bowl helmets to test the atmosphere. You'd think that both of them would be scientists, but alas, no. For some reason the doctor is performing tests. Once the all clear is given the other two emerge and they begin to explore their surroundings. It is discovered that this planet is teeming with vegetation and wildlife, which the scientists (or hell, people) seem oblivious to the fact that they bear uncanny resemblances to those found on Earth. They even take time to laugh at a bear cub climbing up a tree, but make no observation about its species. The geologist of the group takes a rock sample and determines that the planet is quite young, and that it is in the "prehistoric era." I'm no scientist myself, but doesn't prehistoric pretty much refer to Earth eras alone.

After a few hours of in depth science, they begin to make their way back to their ship, but get lost along the way. Apparently none of them are survivalists. Forced to make camp for the night, they somehow manage to make a relatively large shelter in the dark without the benefit of lanterns, flashlights, or even torches. This movie just kept getting better.

Of course during the night when the doctor is supposed to be keeping watch, one of the female scientists awakens, and they both wander off together to do some canoodling. The doctor trips in the dark, falling down a hill right on top of an alligator, which he wrestles like Tarzan. He manages to kill it, but not before he is seriously, but vaguely hurt. All the while, the woman stands on top of the hill screaming, even though she has a pistol on her belt. It is becoming evident that these women are very delicate.

As she stays behind to nurse the doctor back to health, the other two explore an island that seems different than the surrounding environment. There they discover the namesake of the film, a "dinosaur" that the dude scientist claims bears a striking resemblance to Tyrannosaurus Rex, but in actuality is really an iguana made to look large. I don't know what sort of natural history museums this guy has been visiting, but there is no more resemblance between those two species than between me and George Clooney. Of course it traps them in a cave, giving the woman plenty of time to scream and cry and the man to scowl and shove her around.

At this point the centerpiece of the film takes place, when the "dinosaur" fights another large creature, an alligator. No comment is made on whether or not it resembles a Triceratops. As these two titans clash, a gila monster looks on with interest. No word yet if this was actually a Brachiosaurus. The two trapped in a cave are able to use the distraction to reach the other two, who have come to rescue them, and to bring along a little something extra. It seems the little black box they've been totting is actually an atomic bomb. For some reason it makes perfect sense to detonate it on the island. Luckily, they make it back to the other shore, where the half mile between them and the blast is more than enough to keep them safe. The movie ends with a close-up of the mushroom cloud, and for some reason, with uplifiting music to accompany it.

While they still make movies this bad, few of them are made with the same earnestness. So do yourself a favor some Saturday afternoon, and watch King Dinosaur or any of the numerous bad sci-fi films of the fifties. You'll get a kick out of it.

Incredibly, I found the trailer for this movie on youtube. Awesome.



Transmission out.