Lick My Love Pump

One of the funniest movies of all-time has to be This is Spinal Tap. This faux documentary follows the tour of Spinal Tap, a heavy metal band whose members never seem to be able to distinguish the line between "clever and stupid." Despite its outlandish situations and inconceivably bad songs, it is ackingly close to home for many of the real metal bands it mocks. Let's take a look at a few of the songs.

First up we have Sex Farm, with lyrics like "Scratching in your hen house, Sniffing at your feedbag, Slipping out your back door, Leaving my spray." Now lets compare this to Let Me Put My Love Into You, by AC/DC. An excerpt from this song, "Let me put my love into you, babe. Let me cut your cake with my knife." Ah, terrible double entendres abound.



Next we have Big Bottom, containing the oh so sensitive line "My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo. I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo." Kiss released the song Fits Me Like a Glove the same year, containing such gems as "My snake's alive and it's ready to bite," and "Oh baby, babe, fits like a glove...Cause when I go through her it's just like a hot knife through butter." Fantastically bad.





Finally we have Stonehenge, Spinal Tap's attempt at grandeur. This song holds some very thought-provoking and mind bending lyrics, such as "Stonehenge...where the banshees live, and they do live well," and "We'll go back in time to that mystic land, where the dew drops cry and the cat's meow." Iron Maiden set brains ablaze with Quest For Fire, which begins with "In a time when dinosaurs walked the earth, when the land was swamp and caves were home, in an age where prize possession was fire, to search for landscapes men would roam."

Apparently many of the events of the film also hit close to home for real heavy metal bands. Several bands acknowledged getting lost in the concourses of arenas, complaining unreasonably about backstage provisions, and receiving critical reviews which may have been more clever than the works they were covering. In particular, a scene in the movie depicts a mistake during Spinal Tap's performance of Stonehenge, in which a life size model is supposed to descend from the ceiling, and be danced around by a group of dwarves representing Druid children. The model turns out to only be a foot and a half tall, because the dimwitted guitarist didn't know the difference between feet and inches. Apparently this really happened to Black Sabbath, except their model was converted into meters, and so was three times too large. Magnificent.





Anyway, check out this film, but don't laugh too hard, because if you choke they can't dust for vomit.

Transmission out.