Star Slammer. Picking on this movie is like pushing a kid in a wheelchair down a flight of stairs. Funny but not particularly challenging. This movie is perhaps better known by its other title, Prison Ship, although I hesitate to use either the word "better" or "known" when discussing this film. Apparently it was shot in 1984 but sat on the shelf until 1988. Why they bothered at that point is one of life's little mysteries.
I won't bother to elucidate the plot. It's early on a Monday morning, and frankly, there's not much to say. Instead, I will offer a series of impressions that will either make you yearn to see this movie, or run for the hills. So here goes.
Shitty-Ass "Raiders' March" rip-off played over opening credits, which makes no sense, as the film takes place in space. Jewish Gandolf walking on a dirt path, followed by creepy Oompa Loompa types with saucepans for hats. One Oompa Loompa has beer cans tied to his coat. Security guard who looks like Edgar Winter. Lesbian overtones. Lesbian overtones. Cat fight (with sultry 80's saxophone music). Prison warden who appears to have been thrown out of a beat up van transporting bondage gear across state lines. Breast shot. Prisoner "breaking it down" with a harmonica while in isolation. Pet rat. Guy who looks like a fluorescent reject from a Clash cover band. Prisoners dressed like extras from Flashdance. Lesbian overtones. Knife fight. One-eyed security guard called "Muffin." Two hands cut off (separate people). Another breast shot (escapee feels the need to change before leaving prison). Tusken Raider security guards. Ghost of Jewish Gandolf. Lesbian overtones. Sloth's grandpa.
Here's one of the few clips I could find on youtube:
Is this movie worth watching? Well, if you bother to read my blog, chances are you enjoy these types of movies too. As far as bad movies go, this one is fairly enjoyable, although the lack of nudity is quite unusual for a film of this type. It's like hanging out with Willie Nelson and not getting a contact buzz. Despite this, it's ridiculous enough that I laughed out loud several times, and it's short enough that it doesn't overstay its welcome. I say check it out.
On a side note, I know it has been several months since my last post, and for that I apologize. I've been swamped by schoolwork, and have just now been able to come up for air. I will try to update this blog much more frequently, at least over the summer. Thanks for reading.
Transmission out.
Monday, May 10, 2010
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